Your Attitude Counts

When it comes to seducing a woman, attitude plays a very big role in how successful, or unsuccessful you are. If you have a positive attitude you’re more likely to attract women more easily than a guy with a negative attitude. Being positive and upbeat shows in nearly everything you do, as does being negative and glum. Women are much more likely to choose the positive, upbeat guys.

First, a positive attitude reflects confidence and self-respect. As we already discussed, confidence and self-respect are vital. A positive attitude also directly affects how other people feel when they’re around you. For example, have you ever had a friend or co-worker who was always down or pessimistic? If you have, did you notice that after a while his or her mood started making you feel down or uncomfortable or irritable? Chances are it’s happened to all of us. So remember, if for no other reason than to not be a dark cloud hanging over everyone’s head, try your best to be positive and have a good attitude.

But it goes much further than that. When you’re trying to make your best impression on a woman, being negative will not work. You have to feel good before you can make anyone else feel good. You have to radiate the same kinds of feelings you want to receive. If you’re not giving off those positive vibes we’ll pick up on it and most likely steer clear of you.

The bottom line: women like to find a man who’s stable. Part of what women judge stability on is your work. No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a rocket scientist. It simply means that if you’re changing jobs every couple of months, or getting let go for poor attitude or poor performance, which is directly affected by your attitude, then we’re going to think twice before we get involved with you. Remember, women are looking for a partner; a 50 – 50 relationship.

Places to Meet Women to Date

Meeting women that you would actually want to date and, maybe eventually, bring home to meet mom and dad, isn’t as hard as it sounds. There is, of course, the singles scene out in the bars and clubs all over town but I don’t recommend that one. It’s not that just bad girls go to bars; it’s that it is hard to tell the good ones from the bad one.

You meet women at work, too, but, there again, I don’t recommend dating them. The problem with that is that, if things don’t work out, you will still have to work together and the situation could be awkward to say the least.

Your friends know women that you haven’t met - sisters, cousins, etc. Ask them to introduce you to them. But, big brother, do avoid blind dates. Those things hardly ever work out and you can spend a lot of money for a very uncomfortable evening.

The best places to meet women that you might actually want to date are at clubs and organizations that you belong to. You will already have something in common with them and will have had the opportunity to see them interact with other people and that tells you a lot about a person. If you aren’t already involved with any clubs or organizations the, for heaven sakes, join some. Find ones that are all about something you are interested in. There are clubs and organizations that cover just about anything you can think of from astronomy to zoology and single women are involved in all of them.

Church is an excellent place to meet women. If there aren’t any single women in the church you go to now, visit other churches until you find one where there are single women. The church itself will provide you with an opportunity to get to know the woman before you ask her for a date. You will be a lot more comfortable and so will she.

Get involved in civic organizations. Women love men who are civic minded. They admire men who are willing to “give back”. And what about political campaigns? You will meet a lot of young women who are passionate about politics.

If all else fails, join a good online dating service. You will meet a lot of eligible women. You can read their profiles and see pictures of them. After you get to know one well enough to ask her for a face-to-face meeting, be sure that you plan the meeting during daylight hours and in a public place.

Paying More Attention to Your Woman

Communication is such an important factor in all relationships, business and personal alike, that it should come as no surprise that we need to discuss it here as well. What is communication, after all? It is the two-way interaction that occurs, both verbally and non-verbally. What is said with actions is as important, if not more so, than what is said with words. But here we're going to focus our attention on the importance of verbal communication and what it will mean for your relationship. Keep in mind that when I talk about how things affect your relationship, I'm mainly concerned with your success in the realm of seduction.

Communication with words is something we all do on a daily basis. But, just like when you're asked to give an impromptu speech, being asked to communicate in a particular situation just makes many of you cringe, lock up, and find yourself at a loss for words. Why? Mainly because when you have to think about what to say, you suddenly become concerned about what you're saying. But if you just let it happen without any expectations, somehow everything works out a whole lot better.

That being said, think of your past relationships and where communication failed you. Was it something you said in a particular conversation that you came to regret later? Or was it something she said that you either treated as unimportant or simply didn't hear at all? Or could it have been a time when you should have said something to her, but didn't, and the results were equally regrettable? Surely all of these have happened to nearly everyone at one time or another. The trick is to not let these past failures define how you communicate now and in the future of your current relationship.

Talking is something we all think about when we hear the word 'communication'. But, unfortunately, that first thought is the wrong one if you're looking for a good relationship with potential for romance. Talking will get you nowhere, and worse, it may cause things to fall backward or even to fall apart. When you talk, you're expecting someone else to listen.

But what about the listener? When does she get the chance to be heard? That's why it's so much better to change your view from one of simply talking, to one where you see communication as the carrying on of a conversation.

How to Flirt Effectively

Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.

Waiting to Meet Ms. Perfect?

It must be really tough. Do you think you are just a victim of bad luck and that’s the reason Ms. Perfect hasn’t appeared in your life yet? Or have you decided that maybe Ms. Perfect only exists on movie screens and not out here in the real world? BINGO! You’ve got it. She doesn’t exist anywhere except in your imagination and on movie screens.

The truth of the matter is that the reason Ms. Perfect hasn't appeared has nothing to do with your luck, good or bad, but everything to do with you and the fact that you are busy looking for a person that doesn't exist! You can't date with your eyes closed and some impossible dream in your head. You'll get so caught up in this whole exercise of dating that you forget to look for the qualities you seek! You haven't met the person of your dreams because you aren't looking for the things that will make them close enough to perfect for you.

You are so confident that every woman you have met could not give you what you wanted. But what was it that you wanted in the first place? Once you are sure of what you want, you will know exactly what to look for in your woman. What are the qualities that you feel are necessary in a person? What are the attributes you are willing to make a compromise on? Have you thought about all these?

Remember, that nobody on this earth is perfect. Everybody has faults…some are bigger faults than other faults. Some are faults you can overlook and some are faults that you couldn’t overlook on your best day and if she was the most beautiful, most sexy woman on the planet.

When you meet a woman, remember, however hard you try to impress others, you cannot control their thought processes. Instead, it’s far better to concentrate on your needs and desires, and how much of what you need would be fulfilled if you dated this woman.

Building Your Confidence in Dating Women

When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate “self confidence” with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, that’s simply not true.

While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.

And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.

Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.

When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people - those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.

Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them!

Where to Go on Your First Date

That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let’s cover where NOT to go on a first date.

The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening.

Also, don’t take your date to your parent’s house! She will know right away that you are a mama’s boy and you will never see her again.

Don’t take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you.

Now, some good first date ideas are:

Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn’t go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better.

Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you’re there is some good chemistry happening:

If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There’re so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun.

Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea.

The Art of Seducing a Woman

Understanding what a woman is looking for in a man is the first secret to seducing a woman. For many men, the concept of how to seduce a woman is simply a mystery. It’s understandable, though. Men and women differ in so many ways that it’s difficult for many of us to really grasp how to get inside the mind of the opposite sex.

The true key to seducing a woman isn’t a mere laundry list to check off, step by step. It’s more a guidebook on the path you must follow to completely seduce a woman, mind, body and soul. And believe it or not, what really gets a woman going is much simpler than you may have ever imagined.

Understanding the differences between the sexes will help give you a better foundation on which to build your knowledge of women. Once you can get inside her mind, it’s all downhill from there.

Communication is ultimately the most important aspect in seducing a woman. Like so many other aspects of our lives, effective communication is the key to success. You want to take the time to really get to know her and what she’s looking for. This will benefit you greatly when it comes to pleasing her, so don’t think that getting to know your woman is a pointless, grueling task of learning a bunch of useless information.

Patience when seducing your woman is equally important, too. Being in a hurry will only prove to damage any good you could’ve done by learning anything at all about your woman. When it comes to seducing a woman, take it slow. We want a man to take his time, not just rush in for the brass ring. A woman wants to know that you aren’t just playing her for sex. And the best way to prove yourself is to take your time.

All in all, women want to feel special. Being romantic makes us feel special. So if you want to seduce your woman you have to be romantic. It proves that you care, that you want to please her and that you know how to treat a woman right. Romance will take you a long way in seducing a woman.

How to be Romantic

What is it exactly that makes a woman see a man as romantic? Most of the time it's the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven't they almost become a cliché. That's not to say women don't like flowers because they do, but if that's all you've got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments.

The key factor in creating romantic moments is to put the lady’s likes ahead of your own.

Creating romantic moments is so easy it’s a wonder every man in the world doesn’t “get” this. All you have to do is think of an activity built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on.

It's all about doing something she likes with her. What will make such activities seem even more romantic to her is if you choose to do something she likes to do with her when a ball game is on TV that you could be watching with your buddies. She will feel chosen…and that, sir, is VERY romantic indeed.

It doesn’t matter which activity to choose to participate in with the woman that you want to think of you as romantic. The trick is for you to be totally involved mentally in the activity and not staring off into space or obviously just wishing it were over so you could go do what you really want to do. Remember this is you trying to be romantic so concentrate on the project at hand.

It really is so very easy to create romantic moments. With only a little thinking and planning, romantic moments can happen every day and at the most unexpected moments. Being romantic is a win/win situation. There is no reason not to make romantic moments happen at every opportunity.

Setting the Mood with Your Date

Nothing makes for a more romantic gesture than one that is made purely for the sake of romance itself. When it comes to seducing a woman if you want to make a really great impression on us then you’ll want to pull out all the stops and create a romantic date without waiting for a special occasion. Not to mention there’s no rule that says you have to wait for a certain day or time.

This particular tip requires knowing a bit about your lady and what she likes and doesn’t like. But you don’t have to know her like the back of your hand in order to make a truly romantic evening for the two of you to share. The most important thing is to consider what you know she finds romantic and then do your best to create that for her. The very fact that you thought of her and wanted to romance her out of the blue will really impress her and make her feel truly special.

Many of these suggestions would take relatively little time for preparation. Remember, it’s sometimes the smallest gesture that will really make a woman feel special. The first romantic setting is a candlelit picnic in a park or other quiet location. This is sure to make your lady feel special. There’s no special occasion needed. This is also easy to put together with a bottle of wine, some cheese, strawberries, whatever the two of you like.

If you have a portable CD player you can bring that along with a disc of romantic music and you’ll have an evening that the both of you are sure to remember. Just don’t forget to check the weather and be sure to bring the blanket!

The next suggestion I have is good for any weather, a nice candlelit meal consisting of her favorite foods and dessert at your place. When you’re planning this evening be sure to have soft, romantic music on and a nice bottle of wine. Her favorite flowers would be an extra nice touch. This meal could be prepared by you or ordered and picked up from a restaurant.

As long as you’ve taken care to choose what she likes it’s sure to be a huge hit! If your place tends to be a bit messy, be sure to take the extra bit of time to clean it up so that she’s not tripping over your tennis shoes or gym bag.

Know What to Look for in a Woman

Sometimes, knowing what you’re looking for in a woman can be quite difficult. And if you’re one of them, don’t get discouraged. It truly isn’t as difficult as you may think to find the right woman for you.

The very first thing you must do is resign to be very open-minded. You need to cast aside all the standards that you may have been using and start from scratch. Forget what all your buddies say is attractive. Never mind what you see in the lingerie commercials on television. You’ll want to start with the very basics of what makes two people compatible, not two lovers, but two people in general, in order to find what kind of person works for you.

In order to find out what you are really looking for in a woman, you need to take the time to consider the complete person, not just the body. You need to take into consideration things like personality, interests, ambition and then looks. You’re probably wondering why I listed those traits in the order I did.

If you consider looks first it will tend to cloud your judgment on all the other traits. Men tend to be very easily visually stimulated. For this reason, what excites them at first sight tends to be what they think they want.

However, if you consider what you want in the other areas, the looks may not be so important. You may find that a woman with a great personality that likes football and racing as much as you do and who takes her career as a human resources director seriously, but who happens to be a brunette with only an average build, would suit you just fine. Personality, intelligence, ambition, sense of humor and interests play a much bigger role in attraction than just physical appearance.

How to be Sensitive with Women

If you are hoping to be successful in the world of seduction, you're going to have to know how to be sensitive. When a woman looks at a man, from her unique perspective, one of the key things she sees is how sensitive you are. It can truly be a pass or fail characteristic. If the lady in your life doesn't see a sensitive side, she's going to be put off. Personality counts for so much, especially if you're hoping to go further with a relationship.

To begin with, it's important to understand just what sensitivity is. Sensitivity, or being sensitive, is just one of those things that's gotten such a bad rap as to make it virtually a taboo. But false impressions are to blame for that, and we can dismiss such misconceptions here so we can get on with the business of becoming a more sensitive man. But what sensitivity really is, in truth, is responsiveness to things around you. It's a general sense of what's going on.

Unfortunately, you may be thinking you've already got it pegged. But don't think it's just a matter of self-awareness and a general idea of the world around you. The sensitivity women want in a man goes a bit further. Or, put more directly, women are looking for a specific kind of sensitivity in men.

Here's an example you're sure to remember from some movie you once saw: a young couple are walking along a street at night, and the temperature is dropping. Conveniently, she had forgotten to bring a coat, but he had remembered to bring his. He notices her shivering, and quickly offers his coat to her, despite his own need for the coat.

Okay, that's a basic example. But what matters is that the guy was aware of his girlfriend's need, and he did something about it. Moreover, he made a sacrifice for her. This is a big deal. When a man can be more concerned about the welfare of someone else than himself, he's got a chance to impress the ladies.

What to Talk About on a Date

I’m sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you.

Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.

Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you’re thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation.

Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker.

Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date:

“What do you love to do in your spare time?”

“What do you particularly enjoy about that?”

“If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?”

By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you.

Don’t Judge a Woman by Her Looks!

I know this tip may sound very cliché, but it’s true. At some point or another we’re all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it’s not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don’t necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider botox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

I’m not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It’s a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what’s inside before you discount women based on what’s outside.

Vital Facts About Romance

When you are thinking about romance, you are thinking of very many things. It is vital for you to narrow down and focus on your partner for true romance to flow. Romance is best felt. This means that, showing romance is mainly all you need to do. How can you show romance if you do not know about it? This is a very good question. You need to know the heart or the essence of romance; vital facts about romance. Some people will continue to confuse sex with romance. Romance is not sex and romance should or might lead to sex.

Sometimes, it is said that romance is greater than sex. This is because it is much more wholesome. Ladies are known to use sex to corner a man into loving them. There is a very thin line between love and romance and, ladies might think that the sex will lead to love. As a lady, you need to open up your mind as you discern whether the man is into you or not. There is no way that sex can lead to romance. It is the other way round. Knowing all about it will give you an edge to make decisions that are wise in this regard.

There are many resources that you can employ to know all about romance. The Internet is the leading source of hassle free information. Read through the helpful text on romance and you will be very informed. Why exactly is deep affection or romance for the person you love vital? Romance will help to keep the fire burning. It will go a long way in strengthening your union. Romance is not selfish and it is selfless. When you reach this point in your relationship, you will be in a position to feel the many benefits that romance brings. There are several areas that you can get to show your love, affection and romance in general. The oldest way to show it is through a kiss and a hug. Why don't you try it today. When your partner comes home, give them an unexpected kiss and hug without saying anything. This will work wonders to change the mood. You must never be be too busy to show such romantic gestures. This is the glue of your union; it is all about romance.

Other areas that are about romance include writing. I'm sure you have come across love poetry or notes. You do not have to be a poet. Again, why do you experiment on this. Take a piece of paper and write the words 'I love you'. Then put the paper in a strategic place where your partner will find it. You will definitely note the difference. Simple things are the ones that best show romance. Another thing you can do to show it is through your mouth. For a change, why don't you try saying sweet words to your partner. Have a pillow talk and whisper sweat nothings. This will draw you closer to each other. You can also lend your ears and listen to what your partner has to say. Do not forget to be full of compliments if you want to make the best impression. Making your partner happy will make you happy.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Free Online Dating Service Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating And Relationships Magazine

Speed Dating

Heard enough pick-up lines? Don't like nightclubs? Sat through one too many bad blind dates? Can't seem too meet new dates? Pushed for time? Why not try speed dating?

Fast dating. Hurry dating. 3 minute dating. 8 minute dating. Coco Swan has researched the newest dating fashion to sweep the world and gives you all the speed dating tips to increase your chances of getting a tick on your dating card.

Speed dating is defined as an organized method of meeting potential romantic partners in which participants evaluate each other over the course of a single event through a series of brief one-on-one meetings. Coco did hear it being described elsewhere as "musical chairs with people as prizes".

The concept of speed dating is the brain child of Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish Ha Torah, who saw it as a way for Jewish singles to meet each other in large cities where they were in the minority. The word "SpeedDating" is actually a registered trademark of Aish Ha Torah. "Speed dating" is now a generic term for a similar concept. Other terms include: fast dating, hurry dating, 3 minute dating, and 8 minute dating. The first speed dating event occurred in Beverley Hills in 1998. After an episode in Sex and the City in 2000 the concept of speed dating really took off.

Speed dating is less intimidating than meeting strangers in a bar, and certainly a lot safer. It is being billed as a fast fun way to meet a room full of eligible strangers who are also looking to date. It is a great way to meet new people and enlarge your social circle. Since dating is really a numbers game, speed dating is perfect, as you can meet as many as 25 prospective dates at one event. Various companies obviously use different numbers but the more popular sites were using between 8-25 as their meeting numbers. Usually the event you will be attending will have people in the same age range as yourself. There are also many niche speed dating events out there catering for gay speed dating, black speed dating, older man younger woman, and various religious affiliations, including Jewish speed dating.

Speed dating is perfect for those who are time deficient. This concept is a real time saver as most people decide very quickly if they are going to be compatible romantically.

How Speed Dating Works:

A selected equal number of guys and girls attend a venue like a trendy lounge, café or bar. Every one is given the equivalent of a dating card. Every one will just be introduced by their first name for security purposes. Encounters seem to run from 3 minutes to 8 minutes depending on the company you are using. At the end of the allocated time a bell will ring, or a glass will be clinked, and all the males will get up and move one place on. If you should fancy what you have seen then you tick the appropriate box on your card. If you are lucky enough for reciprocated interest then within 1-2 days the company will line the two of you up. Some companies are now incorporating online dating with their speed dating services and these then match you up online. These companies are also offering the service of looking at profiles before you attend and then the company can invite any one you fancy along to the same event as you. Sounds pretty good to me!

Obviously, punctuality is essential with speed dating. If you are late you will throw the numbers out. Most companies make a point of saying that if you are late they will cancel you.

Likewise, once you have arrived, you are there for the duration, little short of medical emergency, because once again you will be messing up the ratios for everyone else. So if you are going to go, be on time and plan on staying to the end.

What to Wear:

You are going to be noticed at this event so you need to take some care with your appearance.

Make sure your outfit is venue appropriate. You should select an outfit that you feels flatters you and that you are comfortable in. Ladies, if you are going to be seated for the night do not wear a shirt that gapes when you sit down, or offers him a view down to your navel. Men, clean hands are a must as she will be looking at them. Obviously good personal hygiene is essential. A little of your favourite scent is good too, so long as you are not swimming in it. Natural make up supposedly works best for the girls at these gigs as the fellas find too much enhancing off putting and wonder what is underneath that needs hiding. The more confident you are feeling the more approachable you will be.

First Impressions do Count.

It can take as little as 4 seconds to mentally check out someone's face, clothes and body.

People make snap judgments and will size up the possibilities of a relationship within minutes of meeting. In fact, researchers at Ohio University, using 164 new students, showed that after just 3 minutes the students could predict what sort of relationship they would have with their fellow students. Categories included good friends, lovers, and never speak again. The students who only chatted for 3 minutes were just as successful at predicting the future relationships as those who spent 6 or 10 minutes speaking. The more positively they viewed the potential future relationship played a huge part in how hard they then worked to get the relationship to work. The self fulfilling prediction then came into play and determined how much effort they were willing to put in. Obviously, if one party has negative thoughts they will be preventing the relationship moving further. The correlation to speed dating here being that they will not tick their card and adios.

How to make a Good Impression.

What to say:

Most people find that the more attractive the person they are trying to impress the more nervous they get. However, it won't really matter what you say in the first 30 seconds because you will both be busy checking the other out. Always speak within reason. Say nothing inappropriate e.g.: "What were you thinking with the hair?" Here is a great little strategy to employ when the nerves strike.

1: Compliment them. Take a quick look at what they have obviously worked hard at or spent a lot of money on and choose that. People love to be praised and this is a quick way to win affection. Don't get too carried away and come over as insincere or creepy.

2: Ask a simple question.

3: Introduce yourself.

At this point your date should feel secure. Then smile, look them in the eye and ask another question. If you find it is really hard work to click, then you are probably not destined to be soul mates. After the introductions are over keep the conversation flowing:

1: keep the talking about them.

2: steer away from shallow questions; try to make them a bit more meaningful.

3: don't make it an interrogation or treat it like a job interview.

4: find out what they find is fun or exciting.

5: other safe topics are movies, siblings, past holidays, career in brief, sports, hobbies, movies and current affairs.

6: don't forget the end goal is to get a date.

7: try to make them feel better about themselves without being insincere.

Body Language.

With time being an issue with speed dating, a lot of the signals you are giving and receiving are on a purely subconscious level. Body language and sexual chemistry everywhere! Here are some body language tips to make sure you are reading it right. Give off seriously interested gestures to keep them interested subconsciously.

The interested girl. Seated with legs crossed and her hand on her thigh. By sitting up straight she is showing her interest. Looking straight in your eyes with a tilted head shows a high level of interest. Exposing the wrist or palms shows honesty. Running fingers through her hair is another strong sexual body language gesture for flirting. Women also play with their necks or necklace when they are sexually interested. Girls also tend to start sticking out their chests when they spy a fellow they are interested in.

The interested guy. When guys go into flirt mode they will start stroking their ties, rubbing their noses and also playing with their hair. Depending on seating arrangements they will also often open up their laps to display their packages.

Bad signs for all include fidgeting and fiddling but can also just indicate nervousness. Holding your glass at chest height or higher makes you appear defensive. Arms crossed over your chest is also perceived to be some sort of physical barrier. Sitting slumped is also not seen as good body language. Beware of appearing to be shifty eyed.

Advantages of Speed Dating:

1: safe

2: allows singles to meet a large number of other singles at one event.

3: great if you have already dated all your friend's friends or have a limited social circle of singles.

4: no face to face rejection.

5: both women and men have to interact, thus leveling the gender playing field.

6: time limits ensure that no one is stuck for too long with anyone they do not fancy.

7: women can go along with their friends.

8: you can hear what is being said.

9: age appropriate ranges.

10: cost efficient as you get numerous dates for the price of one.

11: no monopolizing of the hot talent, every one gets to spend time with everyone else.

12: you don't have to be able to dance to impress anyone.

13: no tacky pick-up lines to listen to.

What not to do while Speed Dating:

!: Never give out personal details including phone numbers, last names, addresses, business cards or email addresses for safety purposes.

2: Never harass other dates to tick their date card for you.

3: Don't treat it like a job interview.

4: Don't be disrespectful.

5: No behaviour that could be construed as sexual harassment.

6: Never be late.

7: No asking for another date.

What are you waiting for? Sign on for your nearest speed dating event now!

Swiftly, Coco Swan.

Author Coco Swan. You can gain instant access to much more detailed and helpful information for speed dating right here.

Why Do Women Read Romance?

On a winter's day, worthy of a Tolstoy introduction with its unnerving degrees below freezing and a wind chill to rival an ice bath, I was given this article to write. At first, I really didn't have a lot of answers. I love romance fiction myself but truly to put it into a logical, framed box as an article is, I wasn't sure.

But I knew that if I did some questioning of family and friends, I would find out why forty percent of the bookselling market is devoted to this genre and why it sells so well.

Here are some of the answers. Not surprisingly, many of these are the intangibles in our lives.

Renewal:

We could have a truly lousy day at work or at our home business or as a parent. The boss could have gone completely crazy and assigned fifty projects due tomorrow. Or the fax machine in our home office could have eaten yet another fax which we now have to phone someone about and impress them with our office equipment. Maybe your two year old has discovered how to cut and run from the breakfast table with jam dripping down his toddler fingers and oh no, he's headed for one of the clean rooms! Many days, life can be chaotic.

When all the craziness of day to day life needs to be returned to a balance between living and reacting, there is nothing better than stepping into a romance.

Romance readers report having a sense of renewal after they submerge themselves in a happy, love story. It's a way of getting the day's dirt off our shoes and sitting down to relax.

A literary tome wouldn't do for the occasion. A mystery wouldn't be quite right but a romance is always the hero of the day.

Hope:

Romance readers also reported seeing a sense of hope in books about romance.

Maybe you're true life romance needs a little repair and a weekend in Bali, but fall into a book and they have it so much worse. I still remember a book I read years ago when the main character had done something out of character and mooned a car which of course turned out to be driven by her new boss. She spent the whole book, more or less cringing anytime she saw him for fear he would recognize her birthmark. From embarrassing, to desperate to any kind of random misfortune, the heroines and heroes get it all.

As human beings, we need to have a sense of hope and when our own spirit is battered, why not a romance?

If you've read the story of Pandora's Box, in amonst all of the awful things that escaped, hope escaped too. As an avid reader of romance fiction myself, I truly believe that romance offers hope. No matter the obstacles, the main characters get to work overcoming all the reasons why the world is rotten but then find throughout the book the moments of hope, the spirit to go on. Romance readers are treated to hope in every book that truly is a romance.

The Predictability Factor:

While not every romance is exactly the same, we can take the guess work out of a book by selecting a romance right away. We can know for certain that at the end of the book, we are promised a happy ending.

For this reason, most romances try to stick to a general appearance of a romance.

Sharing the Hero:

And naturally, we can also assume that women read romance in droves for the heroes. Think of some of the heroes you may have read. They are usually gorgeous, tortured, complex souls that absolutely would melt the heart.

Truly, I think many women just want to entwine their own lives in reading of these men who will do what it takes to solve the day's problem.

If you're looking for a romance and feel you have to hide the cover from the store clerk, forget about it. Women have been reading romance forever and you're justified a good romance book any day of the week. Just don't forget to turn off the stove before you tune into a good romance.

Robyn Whyte is the CEO of an independent press called Stargazer Press. Drop by and see available books at http://www.stargazerpress.com anytime!

Kate Rizor's novel "The Governor's Wife" is more than a romance and shines with a message of hope as the two characters find themselves.

Re-Capture Romance And Bring It Back Into Your Life

As life gets more and more busy and as the responsibilities pile up on your plate, such as your career and family, it can be hard to pay attention to the smaller things that make life pleasant. One of the things that you may notice slipping is romance. How can you recapture romance and bring it back into your life and relationship? Understanding the simple philosophy of Feng Shui can improve your romantic life quickly and easily. By creating an every day life full of balance and harmony, you will find romance returning and improvement in your most important relationship, that with your lover or potential mate. With Feng Shui and romance, you must remember that you and what is important to yourself comes before anything else.

If your goal is to improve Feng Shui and romance, it is essential to understand what the love center or romance area of your home is. This romance center is to the far right corner of your house from the entrance, or it is the far right corner of every room that you enter. Focusing on this area of your home or in each room will increase your Feng Shui and romance. A way to improve the romance area is to create a feeling of comfort and relaxation. Do this with smart decorating and design choices, such as using pleasant colors and freeing the area of clutter. You want to have an inviting space that encourages intimacy. When you have a warm and welcoming space, you will find romance flowing more freely through your house and within your life.

An important concept to keep in mind when it comes to Feng Shui and romance is to rid your current life of any past romances. This is simple to do - remove any associations with these past relationships, including mementos and pictures. Once you have done this, you will find it easier to bring a new romance into your life. You may even consider replacing your bed and other bedroom furniture if it has connections with your old love. This change may be more drastic, but it will create an atmosphere that will welcome a new and successful romance.

Other items to remove from your bedroom, and important place in the home for Feng Shui and romance, are objects that are related to other activities that have nothing to do with love. These items include your television, exercise equipment, and personal computer. These everyday objects can be more appropriately placed in other areas of the house where they won't affect the peaceful energies you are trying to create in the bedroom. If these items must remain in the bedroom, try to shield them from view by using a screen or curtain.

Feng Shui and romance in the bedroom can be enhanced by furniture arrangement. When it comes to bed placement, you want to make sure that it is situated as far from the entrance door as possible, although you still want the bed to be within sight from the doorway. A solid headboard is another physical feature that encourages Feng Shui and romance by representing the solidity of the relationship you are pursuing.

Another simple physical aspect to tackle when improving the Feng Shui and romance in your bedroom is to remove any unnecessary clutter. This also applies to any other area of the house, but when it comes to romance it is most essential to clear the bedroom of unsightly and nonfunctional clutter. This includes objects lying on the floor, or excessive decorations on top of your dresser. Clutter certainly does not encourage intimacy and will detract from the atmosphere of romance that you are trying to build with Feng Shui.

Another simple trick is to create the feeling within the bedroom that you are not single, even if you aren't currently in a relationship. Do this by placing a second pillow on your bed and making extra room in your bathroom and closet. This is a good way to use Feng Shui and romance to encourage a potential new love. Also, be sure that the artwork within your bedroom is a reflection of romance by avoiding landscapes that appear lonely or photographs of a single person. Good artwork to include on the walls or on your dresser are pictures of things in pairs, such as two flowers or two animals. These simple measures will encourage romance and love to blossom within your bedroom and life.
A great Feng Shui and romance tip is to bring in living elements from the outdoors. Fresh flowers or an attractive plant are objects that can be incorporated into your home for encouraging a pleasant atmosphere and romance. Of course, do not keep around wilting or dried up flowers, as these will harm your levels of Feng Shui and romance within the home.

To encourage romance within your life, concentrate on the love that is already present, including your family and friends. Embracing this love will create a welcoming attitude for romantic love. Feng Shui and romance will flourish throughout your home and life if you keep a positive spirit that is open to the possibility of a new love.

How To Tell If A Man Really Loves You

Most guys if not all men are generally a proud lot and will not easily admit to liking or being in love with a woman they are dating. Question is, how then can you tell if your man feels the same way you do?

Well, try judging by the way he treats you when in the company of his closest friends. When a guy is deeply in love with you, he will tell his closest friends.

Guys generally find it much easier admitting their love for a woman to a close friend than in telling the woman they are in love with. He's most likely in love with you if he lets you meet some of his close friends. If his guy friends treat you with respect, do not seem to alienate you during conversations even in his absence, it is probably a sign he told them how he truly feels about you.

Nothing in this world will stop a guy in love from treating his lady like a queen when in the company of his friends. Judging by the general reactions and comments of some of his closest friends, you will know if your man shares the same love you have for him.

If a guy likes you, he will definitely call you when he asks for and you give him your phone number. Don't worry if he doesn't call you the same day, as he probably does not want to appear to be too desperate.

If he truly felt something for you, it will not take long for him to call you and ask how you are doing, and even ask you out on a date.

Do you sometimes catch him unawares staring at you when in a social or public place? Well, it is probably signs of the guy's interest in you.

If it is the first time you are meeting the guy and he likes you, he will most likely find an ingenious way to approach you and introduce himself. If by any unlikely chance he doesn't end up asking for your phone number, chances are he may be shy.

Don't worry, if he likes you and you somehow feel attracted to him, nothing will stop the guy from tracking you down. This you can tell judging by what he asks you like say 'are you from around here?'

When your man is in love with you, he may admit and tell you openly how he truly feels. If he doesn't do that and you are wondering or even doubting his love, chances are, he most probably told you he loves you and you missed it during a conversation or an argument you recently had with him. Always try to listen closely to what he tells you and mince his words carefully.

Reason most guys find it hard to openly admit their love or state how they truly feel towards a woman they are dating is due to fear of rejection.

If you like a guy and are in a steady relationship with him, it is in the best interest of the both of you, for you to constantly reassure him of your true love and affection.

Constantly flirting with other guys in his presence may hurt his man ego and limit his trust towards you. Make your guy feel he's the only one for you and that your relationship with him is equally important to you. Do that and he will reciprocate and tell you how he truly feels about you and even say I love you.

If you meet a guy you like and feel courageous enough to want to approach and seduce him, stop! A guy will most likely warm up to your advances but in the back of the guy's mind, he will most likely end up dismissing you as being either too desperate or loose, and not his type of woman to date, even though he may have felt something for you too.

Though it is not bad to let a guy know you like and want him. Just lead him to believing he's the one chasing after your love. No matter whether he's a Leo, Scorpio, Virgo, Taurus, Libra, Sagittarius, Gemini, Aquarius, Aries, Pisces, Cancer, or a Capricorn, guys have a natural tendency to be the hunter and not the prey. If you lure him into seducing you, chances are you will most likely end up winning over his heart and love just like you desired.

Watch how you dress in public places especially when you are intent on getting a date with a guy, and hope for a lasting relationship. Most men will easily give in to a date with a skimpily dressed woman just to have fun with her then dump her later.

Publicly displaying too much of your body assets will only make you end up with guys genuinely not interested in how you feel, but who's only interest in you, is in the way you look.
If you seek a long-term relationship with a guy you really like, dress well while in a social or public place.

If a guy tells you that he likes or loves you, it will be in your best interest to believe him. Doubting your guy or even making him feel like you are not good enough for him, will go along way in alienating him from you than in strengthening your relationship bond. The reason he's with you and not another woman is because he likes and loves you.

Finally, if a guy tells you he likes you but you don't feel the same way he does, it is best you tell him. A guy will take it as a challenge to continue chasing after a woman or girl they like even if she does not like him and gives him a hard time, hoping she will one day reciprocate and admit to liking or even loving him too.

You can not force any good man to love you. If you are looking for your Mr. right, he may just be the guy you just met or are currently seeing. Show or teach the man how you want to be loved and you will discover true love.

Free eBook - 101 Romantic Ideas

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How to get a shy man to ask you out

As a dating coach, one of the top questions that I get is,"How to seduce a shy man."

Well the answer is easily. Shy men are usually grateful to have you approach them. They may be in absolute love or lust with you but feel like it will never happen because they can not drum up the nerve to approach you.

Just like we sometimes think guys are out of our league, men sometimes feel the same way about us. They are afraid of being ridiculed and rejected. A shy guy may have this fear in abundance.

By approaching him, you take that pressure away. Do it slowly. Strike up a conversation the first time. Invite him for coffee the next, etc.

Try to get him to laugh at a joke. Humor is a great way to break the ice and put him at ease.

Also give him non verbal signs that you are interested.

I will break this down in to three parts:

1) How to Flirt – You can do more flirting with your eyes than with any other technique. Look at him then look away then look back again. Or stare him right in the eyes and hold his gaze then smile real slow.

Use the quick lip lick. The hair toss. The hair curl around the finger technique.

Try this eyebrow raise, that I mention in my book. Do a double to really get his attention.

We are all born with the ability to flirt. Look at any two year old and you can see it. We start flirting young then end up getting guilted out of doing it or warned against doing it because of office politics. You know how. You are simply out of practice. So that is your fun assignment for the day – practice, practice, practice.

2) When to flirt – Flirt when you are truly interested, flirt when you want the other person to feel good, flirt when you are feeling good yourself. There is no hard and fast rule about flirting.

3) When not to flirt – Don not take your level of flirting farther than you want to go. Don not flirt with someone you know really likes you if you do not share those feelings. Don not flirt with someone whos job might be at stake if taken the wrong way. Do not flirt with your best friends boyfriend.

Walk into the situation knowing that you are beautiful, desireable, funny and intelligent. You may end up being the one to ask him out.

A confident woman always looks more attractive. Do whatever it takes to achieve that confidence.

1) Take the time to fix yourself up before leaving home.
2) Put on a scent that makes you feel sexy.
3) Dress in a way that makes you feel desireable without exposing too much.
4) Plan topics of conversation ahead of time, if you like.
5) Take beauty classes or etiquette classes if you feel that will help.
6) Develop one area of yourself that you excel at and you will have a topic of conversation that you can talk passionately about. That passion will come through in the flush of your cheeks and the sparkle in your eyes.

Once he understands that you really like him, Mr. Shy guy may be ready to direct a few interesting suggestions in your direction.

How to Tell if a Guy Likes you - Five Signs He's Interested

How can you tell if a guy likes you or is interested? You noticed him when you were standing and talking with a friend. You think he noticed you, but maybe it was your imagination or just wishful thinking. He looked at you at about the same time you saw him. Your eyes met for just a few seconds, and then you looked away. When you looked back up, he was talking with some other people. Was he watching you as you mingled? Or were you making that up? How can you tell if a guy likes you? Why are guys so hard to read?

Here are five signs that he is interested in you too. If any of the following happens, he is probably trying to get close enough to ask you out:

1. He tells someone

Is he interested? He likes you if he tells a mutual friend that he wants to know more about you, or he asks other people who you are and where you're from. He is trying to act like he's "just asking" but his questions indicate more than a casual interest. And when he tells someone that he finds you attractive, he probably knows that it will get back to you. He's hoping it does.

2. The look

He gives you a look that betrays his calm exterior. Even though he is across the room, "that look" he has says it all. It is sweeping, from your head to your toes, and then his eyes linger on yours. You think you notice the beginning of a tentative smile.

3. The conversation

Does he like you? When he manages to get close enough to you, to ask you questions, he is interested. He appears to be listening and responds to what you say. He's moving in to the ultimate question, which is: "Are you seeing anyone." He would only ask this question if he wanted to date you, and he hopes the answer is "No." Never ever wear a ring in public. When a guy is across the room, he cannot tell which finger it is on and he may assume incorrectly that you are taken. If he doesn't ask you the question of whether or not you are attached, he may ask someone whom you both know.

4. He appears unexpectedly

He likes you a lot if he shows up out of nowhere. He can only do that if he has been asking people about your schedule, or he has been paying attention to where you are going and at what time. His face may turn red when he sees you. A sudden, "Oh, hi," is his way of saying, "I don't want to seem obvious, but I am interested in you." If you feel the same way, do not act shy. Stop and talk to him.

5. EVERYONE likes you

Is he interested? When you are well liked and a happy person, why wouldn't he like you? Of course he does. If you don't have a great life, however, now is your time to start working on one. Take a look at your career possibilities, body image, future, plans, and resources. You may be naturally talented at something, but it won't matter unless you work on your strengths. Misused or unused talents fade away. School and training do not.

These are the five signs that he is interested and he is on the verge of asking you out. Make it easy for him and be friendly. This is where relationships begin.

Ten Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex With a Man

You see a lot of articles about what men can do during sex to make it better for the woman, but there's a lot less information - and opinion - on the mistakes women make. So, to set the record straight, here's our list of ten things for women to avoid.

1 Expecting him to think like a woman

We've all seen loads of books with titles like "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" which highlight an unfortunate difference between the sexes. Men and women don't think the same way - and while we're not going to get into why this happens, it's important to remember that fact when you're in a relationship. In general, men are not as romantic as women, they don't see romance as a necessary prelude to sex, and they can divorce sex from their feelings in a way that perhaps most women can't. So there will be plenty of times when a man wants sex even if he isn't feeling romantic and connected to his partner.

For him, the physical pleasure of sex is a reward in itself. He doesn't need to be seduced into feeling desire (though he may appreciate it if you do seduce him!), at least most of the time, for his sex drive is a pretty constant part of his maleness. I think that's what women don't understand.
They know how elusive and emotional their own sex drive is, but they don't appreciate how different it is for a man. Think of it this way: men can enjoy sex with their partner whether they are feeling loving or not; in fact they often find their feelings of love for their partner when they have sex with her. By contrast, women often say they need to feel loving before they want sex - or at least before they are prepared to give themselves heart and soul to a man.

2 Not showing your sexual energy

Women who were brought up to be demure "good girls" (i.e. non-sexual) may find it difficult to express the essence of their feminine energy during sex. And a lot of women also have problems expressing their anger, an emotion which can add real spice to the sexual union between men and women. This lack of sexual energy might appear as a reluctance to initiate sex, a reluctance to be the active partner, a reluctance to make noises or thrust, or simply an overall tendency to wait for the man to lead and direct what happens during sex.

But believe me, ladies, your man will really like it when you express your passion - whether that means you getting on top for woman on top sex, moving in a way that will give you the greatest pleasure, kissing him passionately, or being assertive about what you want in bed.

3 Being too gentle when you touch his penis

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to their penises. If you ever have the pleasure of watching him masturbate, you'll see how much pressure he uses on his penis - especially as he nears orgasm. If you're doing it for him, ask him to tell you what you're doing right and what he'd like done differently. He'll really appreciate your efforts to give him more pleasure.

4 Not experimenting with sex

The saying has it that men think about sex ten times an hour - or is it a hundred? Yes, of course that's an exaggeration, but it isn't much of one. While some women have a high sexual desire, it's true to say that women in general are much less sexy than men when they're not in the bedroom. Men fantasize all the time - about the things they see, what they'd like to do, how they'd like to do it, and so on. With such an active sexual imagination, it's not hard to understand why a bit of variation in the bedroom routine can keep a man sexually happy.

It doesn't have to be way out stuff like bondage, either. For example, try changing sex positions once in a while: take the initiative and get on top of him or let him enjoy rear entry for a change. Talk dirty to him if you've never tried that before; explore and play with new parts of his body, such as his anus and perineum, during foreplay - or even during the main event. Seduce him into a "quickie" by leaving a trail of clothes across the floor into the bedroom. Greet him at the door in sexy clothing. Phone him at work and tell him what you'd like to do to him later that day.....well, you get the idea - use your imagination!

5 Expecting him to read your mind

Yes, we know it's difficult to express your sexual desires directly. But men don't think like women. They don't read clues, they don't get hints. So stop communicating indirectly, and tell him what you want. And give him feedback when you get it! That way, he'll know exactly what he's supposed to be doing, how you feel about it, and whether to do it again. For example, if you like what he's doing during sex, let him know with your moans of pleasure.

6 Criticizing him

I think one of the reasons women can be so critical of their man is that they've never learned the art of direct communication. Than means stating clearly and directly what you want, how you want it, and whether you got it - and how you feel about it afterwards. Men appreciate that style of talk - they know where they stand and it removes the uncertainty for them.

Criticism is an indirect way of saying that your needs are not being met - but if you read number 5 above, then maybe you've begun to understand that your man won't know what you want unless you tell him. If you're judging his love for you on the basis of his ability to anticipate and meet your needs without you saying what they are, well, I'm afraid you aren't likely to be very satisfied. And it won't be his fault.

7 Letting him take responsibility for your orgasm

A lot of us think that a man somehow has a responsibility to "give" a woman an orgasm during sex. After all, that's how a lot of us were brought up - that a man somehow has to look after "his" woman. And that idea extends to making sure she has an orgasm during sex.....but the truth is that women are responsible for their own orgasms. So while it might be nice for your man to help you get there, if you don't make it to orgasm through his efforts, you can always take matters into your own hands.

8 Controlling him by withdrawing sex

One of the most unhealthy things you can do in a relationship is to use sex as a weapon. This is basically a statement that you feel powerless, that you think withholding sex is the only way you can get what you want. Rather than trying to exert some influence over your man by denying him the pleasure of your body, try communicating directly what you want and don't want. (That might even extend to simply saying you don't feel emotionally close enough to your partner to want sex.)

9 Thinking he'll feel the same way about your body that you do

It just isn't so. Men don't attach the judgments to women's bodies that women do. So, for example, even if he thinks your butt really is a bit on the large side, it won't matter to him the way it matters to you. In fact, he probably quite likes it. And he certainly won't be put off making love, or want the lights off, because of it. While you waste time and emotional energy wondering if you're completely undesirable because of some aspect of your body, he'll never give it a second thought. It's women who judge their bodies, I think for the sake of comparison with other women, not men.

10 Not making up with sex after an argument

Well, yes, I know that a lot of couples do make up with sex when they've had an argument, but in fact many more don't. As I said above, most women think that they need to be feeling loving and emotionally close before they want sex. Yet I've met a lot of couples in my work as a sexual therapist who have found that taking the risk and jumping into bed can work really well as a way of getting close again.

Even if you don't feel sexy or loving when you start making love, after a while the simple act of being physically connected in bed can really change the way you feel about each other. The other way of settling an argument (that's talking, seeking understanding, and thrashing out how you feel) is fine: but once in a while try a more direct method of getting your feelings back on track - just go to bed together!

About the Author
Rod Phillips is a writer for Sex Techniques And Positions. Send your comments and ideas for better sex to tips@sex-techniques-and-positions.com

Romantic Pick Up Lines: 3 Sexy and Romantic Pick Up Lines to Captivate Any Girl

Not everyone is born a Don Juan or a Romeo who can make romantic pick up lines seem easy as ordering pizza on the phone. You might require a little practice (and maybe even a bit of liquid courage) before you can attempt to test them out on a woman, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.

Romantic pick up lines are the best way to lighten the mood or make it even more intimate. It all depends on what line you use and how you convey it. If you’re interested, I have collected some of the most effective lines you can use.

Romantic Pick Up Lines Sample 1: “Shall we talk or keep flirting from a distance?”

This line is perfect if you don’t know who the girl is. It contains underlying tones of “funny romantic.” However, make sure you two have already made eye contact several times before you use this line.

Romantic Pick Up Lines Sample 2: “Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl with the beautiful smile.”

This is a new spin on the tried and tired “You look familiar; do I know you” version. It’s simple and not too far-fetched that the girl would think you’re just playing with her. Besides, it’s really easy to mean a line like this one, and you’ll probably earn yourself a smile and a blush at least!

Romantic Pick Up Lines Sample 3: “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

No girl can resist wit and romance in one package. Even if your girl doesn’t really believe in love at first sight, the idea that you came up with something as witty as this will reel her in.

Romantic pick up lines might not be your best forte, but a little practice will go a long way. Make sure you understand the context of these lines, too. With confidence and just the right attitude, I believe you’ll be able to sweep any girl’s feet.

About the Author
You can easily attract the opposite sex using conversational hypnosis. Grab 2 FREE controversial ebooks on how to make girls laugh at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/laugh-secret.htm

Video :What Mean Really Want

Check out this video with some free advice on what mean really like.

The Advantages Of Online Dating For Women

The Advantages of Online Dating for Women


In the past, i.e. the 1990’s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC’s or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.

There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for “the one”.

If you don’t believe me, just ask your friends in the “real” world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.

Here are three good reasons why thousands of people sign up for dating services everyday:

(1)    You can be anonymous. You will never be required to give your real name, address, email address, phone number or place of employment to another online user. You, of course, may do so but only at your own discretion and only when you feel completely safe. You are not required to post a picture of yourself. Posting a picture, however, will get more responses to your profile. So you can surf through the other members on the dating site you have joined with complete anonymity.

(2)    You have so many more choices online that you do in your brick and mortar world. Before the world of online dating came of age, the choice of friends and even of lifetime partners was limited to those we came in contact with through college or work. No more…the world is your oyster. You can go through hundreds…even thousands of profiles to find the right man for you.

(3)    The “safety factor” is the biggest reason of all. An online dating service will never reveal your personal information. You get to choose who has that information and when they have it.

Popular Online Dating Activites

All types of everyday activities are growing in popularity online these days like sharing photos and greeting cards. In fact, both of these even go hand in hand with online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

Before actually meeting in person, many dates get acquainted online first. Here’s how.

Photos - As a wonderful keepsake of your budding romance, create an online photo album for your new cyber-mate.  Include digital photos of favorite outdoor scenes, pets, flowers, cars, silly moments, your computer corner or laptop, etc.  Then you’ll even have more to discuss during online dates via emails and chat rooms. Search for “photo albums” to find places that store your photos.

Greeting Cards- Regardless of where the person lives, you can mail a greeting card. If privacy and security is an issue, check into renting an inexpensive P.O. Box (check the Yellow Pages). You do not have to be an artist to make something homemade and special for the new friend in your life.  Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your date that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand.  Search your favorite search engine for online greeting cards to send, too. They range from free to low cost and can be sent in a click.

So get online and get active! No need to risk meeting in person until you get more familiar with each other online first. So take the online plunge!

Online Dating: Asking The Right Question First

OK.  You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile.  You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact.  What now?  How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?  You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is.  It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions.  You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that. 

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?”  Listen carefully to her answers.  She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general. 

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?”  Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong. 

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?”  If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect.  If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same.  If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer.  Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Video: How to make your boyfriend crazy about you

Here is a video for the girls, a few tips on how to make your boyfriend totally crazy about you.

101 Things To Do With Your Boyfriend / Girlfriend

Please find below a full list of 101 ideas of things you can do with your boyfriend or girlfriend. 

1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Take showers together.
3. Back rubs/massages.
4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark
or w/blacklight.
5. French Kiss.
6. Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
7. Whisper to each other.
8. Cook for each other
9. Skinny dip.
10. Make out in the rain.
11. Dress each other.
12. Undress each other.
13. Kiss every part of their body.
14. Hold hands.
15. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each
other*not
sex)
16. One word*Foreplay
17. Sit and talk in just underwear.
18. Buy gifts for each other.
19. Roses.
20. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear
it
every time you*re together.
21. Wear his clothes.
22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the
stars.
23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make
great for sex (cuddling)
24. Kiss at every chance you get.
25. Don*t wear underwear and let them find out.
26. Kinky is bad*Blindfolds are good.
27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their
jawbone just below the ear,then whisper I love you.
28. Bubble baths.
29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
30. Make love.
31. Write poetry for each other.
32. Kiss/smell her hair.
33. Hugs are the universal medicine.
34. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make
sure they know you mean it.
35. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
36. Tell her that she*s the only girl you ever want.
Don*t lie.
37. Spend every second possible together.
38. Tell her that she doesn*t have to do anything she
doesn*t want to. And mean it.
39. Look into each other*s eyes.
40. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes,
tell her you love her,and kiss her lightly.
41. Talk to each other using only body language and
your eyes.
42. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
43. Walk behind her and put your hands in her front
pockets.
44. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren*t
looking.
45. Clothes are no fun.
46. Buy her a ring.
47. Keep one of her bras somewhere where you see it
everyday.
48. Sing to each other.
49. Read to each other.
50. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
51. Take advantage of any time alone together.
52. Tell her about how you answered every question in
math with her name.
53. Draw. (If you can)
54. Let her sit on your lap.
55. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or
on a mountain.
56. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and
fingers,and cheeks,and collarbones, and hands,and
ears.
57. Kiss her stomach.
58. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
59. Guys like half-shirts.
60. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two
deal.
61. Spaghetti* (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
62. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand
and then put it over your heart.
63. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you
aren*t close enough.
64. Dance together.
65. Sit in front of a roaring fire and make out/make
love.
66. I love the way a girl looks right after she*s
fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
67. Carry her to bed.
68. Waterbeds are fun.
69. You figure it out.
70. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so
that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
71. Break every one of your parent*s relationship
rules for them.
72. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
73. Even if you are really busy doing something, go
out of your way to call and say I love you.
74. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you
were thinking about them.
75. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
76. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few
hours.
77. Ride home and call them.
78. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
79. Somehow incorporate them into any kind of
religion or worship you have.
80. Be Prince Charming to her parents. (Brownie
Points)
81. Act out mutual fantasies together. (Not
necessarily sexual)
82. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
83. Stay up all night to think of 101 ways to be
sweet to them.
84. Hang out with his/her friends. (more brownie
points)
85. Go to church/pray/worship together.
86. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the
parts she liked.
87. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear
night.
88. Learn from each other and don*t make the same
mistake twice.
89. Everyone deserves a second chance.
90. Describe the joy you feel just to be with
him/her.
91. Make sacrifices for each other.
92. Really love each other, or don*t stay together.
93. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in
love, etc. and give it to them.
94. Let there never be a second during any given day
that you aren*t thinking about them, and make sure
they know it.
95. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
96. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
97. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
98. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
99. Sleep naked together.
100. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
101. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And
always remember to say, "Sweet dreams.