Monday 31 May 2010

Ten Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex With a Man

You see a lot of articles about what men can do during sex to make it better for the woman, but there's a lot less information - and opinion - on the mistakes women make. So, to set the record straight, here's our list of ten things for women to avoid.

1 Expecting him to think like a woman

We've all seen loads of books with titles like "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" which highlight an unfortunate difference between the sexes. Men and women don't think the same way - and while we're not going to get into why this happens, it's important to remember that fact when you're in a relationship. In general, men are not as romantic as women, they don't see romance as a necessary prelude to sex, and they can divorce sex from their feelings in a way that perhaps most women can't. So there will be plenty of times when a man wants sex even if he isn't feeling romantic and connected to his partner.

For him, the physical pleasure of sex is a reward in itself. He doesn't need to be seduced into feeling desire (though he may appreciate it if you do seduce him!), at least most of the time, for his sex drive is a pretty constant part of his maleness. I think that's what women don't understand.
They know how elusive and emotional their own sex drive is, but they don't appreciate how different it is for a man. Think of it this way: men can enjoy sex with their partner whether they are feeling loving or not; in fact they often find their feelings of love for their partner when they have sex with her. By contrast, women often say they need to feel loving before they want sex - or at least before they are prepared to give themselves heart and soul to a man.

2 Not showing your sexual energy

Women who were brought up to be demure "good girls" (i.e. non-sexual) may find it difficult to express the essence of their feminine energy during sex. And a lot of women also have problems expressing their anger, an emotion which can add real spice to the sexual union between men and women. This lack of sexual energy might appear as a reluctance to initiate sex, a reluctance to be the active partner, a reluctance to make noises or thrust, or simply an overall tendency to wait for the man to lead and direct what happens during sex.

But believe me, ladies, your man will really like it when you express your passion - whether that means you getting on top for woman on top sex, moving in a way that will give you the greatest pleasure, kissing him passionately, or being assertive about what you want in bed.

3 Being too gentle when you touch his penis

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to their penises. If you ever have the pleasure of watching him masturbate, you'll see how much pressure he uses on his penis - especially as he nears orgasm. If you're doing it for him, ask him to tell you what you're doing right and what he'd like done differently. He'll really appreciate your efforts to give him more pleasure.

4 Not experimenting with sex

The saying has it that men think about sex ten times an hour - or is it a hundred? Yes, of course that's an exaggeration, but it isn't much of one. While some women have a high sexual desire, it's true to say that women in general are much less sexy than men when they're not in the bedroom. Men fantasize all the time - about the things they see, what they'd like to do, how they'd like to do it, and so on. With such an active sexual imagination, it's not hard to understand why a bit of variation in the bedroom routine can keep a man sexually happy.

It doesn't have to be way out stuff like bondage, either. For example, try changing sex positions once in a while: take the initiative and get on top of him or let him enjoy rear entry for a change. Talk dirty to him if you've never tried that before; explore and play with new parts of his body, such as his anus and perineum, during foreplay - or even during the main event. Seduce him into a "quickie" by leaving a trail of clothes across the floor into the bedroom. Greet him at the door in sexy clothing. Phone him at work and tell him what you'd like to do to him later that day.....well, you get the idea - use your imagination!

5 Expecting him to read your mind

Yes, we know it's difficult to express your sexual desires directly. But men don't think like women. They don't read clues, they don't get hints. So stop communicating indirectly, and tell him what you want. And give him feedback when you get it! That way, he'll know exactly what he's supposed to be doing, how you feel about it, and whether to do it again. For example, if you like what he's doing during sex, let him know with your moans of pleasure.

6 Criticizing him

I think one of the reasons women can be so critical of their man is that they've never learned the art of direct communication. Than means stating clearly and directly what you want, how you want it, and whether you got it - and how you feel about it afterwards. Men appreciate that style of talk - they know where they stand and it removes the uncertainty for them.

Criticism is an indirect way of saying that your needs are not being met - but if you read number 5 above, then maybe you've begun to understand that your man won't know what you want unless you tell him. If you're judging his love for you on the basis of his ability to anticipate and meet your needs without you saying what they are, well, I'm afraid you aren't likely to be very satisfied. And it won't be his fault.

7 Letting him take responsibility for your orgasm

A lot of us think that a man somehow has a responsibility to "give" a woman an orgasm during sex. After all, that's how a lot of us were brought up - that a man somehow has to look after "his" woman. And that idea extends to making sure she has an orgasm during sex.....but the truth is that women are responsible for their own orgasms. So while it might be nice for your man to help you get there, if you don't make it to orgasm through his efforts, you can always take matters into your own hands.

8 Controlling him by withdrawing sex

One of the most unhealthy things you can do in a relationship is to use sex as a weapon. This is basically a statement that you feel powerless, that you think withholding sex is the only way you can get what you want. Rather than trying to exert some influence over your man by denying him the pleasure of your body, try communicating directly what you want and don't want. (That might even extend to simply saying you don't feel emotionally close enough to your partner to want sex.)

9 Thinking he'll feel the same way about your body that you do

It just isn't so. Men don't attach the judgments to women's bodies that women do. So, for example, even if he thinks your butt really is a bit on the large side, it won't matter to him the way it matters to you. In fact, he probably quite likes it. And he certainly won't be put off making love, or want the lights off, because of it. While you waste time and emotional energy wondering if you're completely undesirable because of some aspect of your body, he'll never give it a second thought. It's women who judge their bodies, I think for the sake of comparison with other women, not men.

10 Not making up with sex after an argument

Well, yes, I know that a lot of couples do make up with sex when they've had an argument, but in fact many more don't. As I said above, most women think that they need to be feeling loving and emotionally close before they want sex. Yet I've met a lot of couples in my work as a sexual therapist who have found that taking the risk and jumping into bed can work really well as a way of getting close again.

Even if you don't feel sexy or loving when you start making love, after a while the simple act of being physically connected in bed can really change the way you feel about each other. The other way of settling an argument (that's talking, seeking understanding, and thrashing out how you feel) is fine: but once in a while try a more direct method of getting your feelings back on track - just go to bed together!

About the Author
Rod Phillips is a writer for Sex Techniques And Positions. Send your comments and ideas for better sex to tips@sex-techniques-and-positions.com

Romantic Pick Up Lines: 3 Sexy and Romantic Pick Up Lines to Captivate Any Girl

Not everyone is born a Don Juan or a Romeo who can make romantic pick up lines seem easy as ordering pizza on the phone. You might require a little practice (and maybe even a bit of liquid courage) before you can attempt to test them out on a woman, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.

Romantic pick up lines are the best way to lighten the mood or make it even more intimate. It all depends on what line you use and how you convey it. If you’re interested, I have collected some of the most effective lines you can use.

Romantic Pick Up Lines Sample 1: “Shall we talk or keep flirting from a distance?”

This line is perfect if you don’t know who the girl is. It contains underlying tones of “funny romantic.” However, make sure you two have already made eye contact several times before you use this line.

Romantic Pick Up Lines Sample 2: “Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl with the beautiful smile.”

This is a new spin on the tried and tired “You look familiar; do I know you” version. It’s simple and not too far-fetched that the girl would think you’re just playing with her. Besides, it’s really easy to mean a line like this one, and you’ll probably earn yourself a smile and a blush at least!

Romantic Pick Up Lines Sample 3: “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

No girl can resist wit and romance in one package. Even if your girl doesn’t really believe in love at first sight, the idea that you came up with something as witty as this will reel her in.

Romantic pick up lines might not be your best forte, but a little practice will go a long way. Make sure you understand the context of these lines, too. With confidence and just the right attitude, I believe you’ll be able to sweep any girl’s feet.

About the Author
You can easily attract the opposite sex using conversational hypnosis. Grab 2 FREE controversial ebooks on how to make girls laugh at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/laugh-secret.htm

Tuesday 25 May 2010

Video :What Mean Really Want

Check out this video with some free advice on what mean really like.

The Advantages Of Online Dating For Women

The Advantages of Online Dating for Women


In the past, i.e. the 1990’s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC’s or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.

There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for “the one”.

If you don’t believe me, just ask your friends in the “real” world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.

Here are three good reasons why thousands of people sign up for dating services everyday:

(1)    You can be anonymous. You will never be required to give your real name, address, email address, phone number or place of employment to another online user. You, of course, may do so but only at your own discretion and only when you feel completely safe. You are not required to post a picture of yourself. Posting a picture, however, will get more responses to your profile. So you can surf through the other members on the dating site you have joined with complete anonymity.

(2)    You have so many more choices online that you do in your brick and mortar world. Before the world of online dating came of age, the choice of friends and even of lifetime partners was limited to those we came in contact with through college or work. No more…the world is your oyster. You can go through hundreds…even thousands of profiles to find the right man for you.

(3)    The “safety factor” is the biggest reason of all. An online dating service will never reveal your personal information. You get to choose who has that information and when they have it.

Popular Online Dating Activites

All types of everyday activities are growing in popularity online these days like sharing photos and greeting cards. In fact, both of these even go hand in hand with online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

Before actually meeting in person, many dates get acquainted online first. Here’s how.

Photos - As a wonderful keepsake of your budding romance, create an online photo album for your new cyber-mate.  Include digital photos of favorite outdoor scenes, pets, flowers, cars, silly moments, your computer corner or laptop, etc.  Then you’ll even have more to discuss during online dates via emails and chat rooms. Search for “photo albums” to find places that store your photos.

Greeting Cards- Regardless of where the person lives, you can mail a greeting card. If privacy and security is an issue, check into renting an inexpensive P.O. Box (check the Yellow Pages). You do not have to be an artist to make something homemade and special for the new friend in your life.  Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your date that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand.  Search your favorite search engine for online greeting cards to send, too. They range from free to low cost and can be sent in a click.

So get online and get active! No need to risk meeting in person until you get more familiar with each other online first. So take the online plunge!

Online Dating: Asking The Right Question First

OK.  You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile.  You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact.  What now?  How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?  You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is.  It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions.  You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that. 

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?”  Listen carefully to her answers.  She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general. 

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?”  Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong. 

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?”  If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect.  If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same.  If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer.  Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Video: How to make your boyfriend crazy about you

Here is a video for the girls, a few tips on how to make your boyfriend totally crazy about you.

101 Things To Do With Your Boyfriend / Girlfriend

Please find below a full list of 101 ideas of things you can do with your boyfriend or girlfriend. 

1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Take showers together.
3. Back rubs/massages.
4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark
or w/blacklight.
5. French Kiss.
6. Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
7. Whisper to each other.
8. Cook for each other
9. Skinny dip.
10. Make out in the rain.
11. Dress each other.
12. Undress each other.
13. Kiss every part of their body.
14. Hold hands.
15. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each
other*not
sex)
16. One word*Foreplay
17. Sit and talk in just underwear.
18. Buy gifts for each other.
19. Roses.
20. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear
it
every time you*re together.
21. Wear his clothes.
22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the
stars.
23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make
great for sex (cuddling)
24. Kiss at every chance you get.
25. Don*t wear underwear and let them find out.
26. Kinky is bad*Blindfolds are good.
27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their
jawbone just below the ear,then whisper I love you.
28. Bubble baths.
29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
30. Make love.
31. Write poetry for each other.
32. Kiss/smell her hair.
33. Hugs are the universal medicine.
34. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make
sure they know you mean it.
35. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
36. Tell her that she*s the only girl you ever want.
Don*t lie.
37. Spend every second possible together.
38. Tell her that she doesn*t have to do anything she
doesn*t want to. And mean it.
39. Look into each other*s eyes.
40. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes,
tell her you love her,and kiss her lightly.
41. Talk to each other using only body language and
your eyes.
42. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
43. Walk behind her and put your hands in her front
pockets.
44. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren*t
looking.
45. Clothes are no fun.
46. Buy her a ring.
47. Keep one of her bras somewhere where you see it
everyday.
48. Sing to each other.
49. Read to each other.
50. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
51. Take advantage of any time alone together.
52. Tell her about how you answered every question in
math with her name.
53. Draw. (If you can)
54. Let her sit on your lap.
55. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or
on a mountain.
56. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and
fingers,and cheeks,and collarbones, and hands,and
ears.
57. Kiss her stomach.
58. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
59. Guys like half-shirts.
60. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two
deal.
61. Spaghetti* (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
62. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand
and then put it over your heart.
63. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you
aren*t close enough.
64. Dance together.
65. Sit in front of a roaring fire and make out/make
love.
66. I love the way a girl looks right after she*s
fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
67. Carry her to bed.
68. Waterbeds are fun.
69. You figure it out.
70. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so
that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
71. Break every one of your parent*s relationship
rules for them.
72. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
73. Even if you are really busy doing something, go
out of your way to call and say I love you.
74. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you
were thinking about them.
75. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
76. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few
hours.
77. Ride home and call them.
78. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
79. Somehow incorporate them into any kind of
religion or worship you have.
80. Be Prince Charming to her parents. (Brownie
Points)
81. Act out mutual fantasies together. (Not
necessarily sexual)
82. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
83. Stay up all night to think of 101 ways to be
sweet to them.
84. Hang out with his/her friends. (more brownie
points)
85. Go to church/pray/worship together.
86. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the
parts she liked.
87. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear
night.
88. Learn from each other and don*t make the same
mistake twice.
89. Everyone deserves a second chance.
90. Describe the joy you feel just to be with
him/her.
91. Make sacrifices for each other.
92. Really love each other, or don*t stay together.
93. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in
love, etc. and give it to them.
94. Let there never be a second during any given day
that you aren*t thinking about them, and make sure
they know it.
95. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
96. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
97. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
98. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
99. Sleep naked together.
100. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
101. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And
always remember to say, "Sweet dreams.